Letting Go ….. Break the Chains

The most difficult thing a person could ever be asked to do is to let go.  The fact that you need to be told to do it demonstrates the level of difficulty for carrying out this operation.  I must admit I am guilty of, on occasion, tightening my grip and digging my heels in especially when it has something to do with a relationship that has gone belly up and is totally dead in the water!

A lot of the time when a relationship starts to go bad we intensify our efforts to save it which of course is natural.   However, often, the harder we try to revive, resuscitate and rescue it the more life we squeeze out of it.  At the end of it all we are left with a limp lifeless relationship that we drag around with us like a baby’s security blanket!

Why do we do this time and time again? Because letting go means accepting defeat.  Nobody wants to be a loser and so we would rather hold onto the carcass of our departed relationship than bury it in the ground where it belongs. But what are the signs that it is time to let go? In no particular order:

1. If you haven’t seen each other for months and yet they are still in the same country with you…

2. The only time you communicate is to have a fight…

3. Your conversations are all via some form of written electronic media i.e. Blackberry Messenger, Facebook, email and Yahoo messenger etc…

4. The only Cookie you are getting is that yummy chocolate chip with macadamia bits variety.

5. He/She is cheating…

6. He/She is abusive – Physically, verbally and emotionally…

If these signs are present then it might just be possible that your relationship has reached the point of no return and either needs to receive expert medical help or needs to be put out of its misery.

Of course even with some or all of these signs present I have from time to time continued to choke the last breath out of relationships… “Come one there’s still a little life in there”! It seems like such a waste of a perfectly failed relationship to just let it go, especially if there is a chance that your significant other will meet someone who will miraculously resurrect them and re-ignite their interest in love!

But that’s the real truth isn’t it? letting go of a relationship means that you are leaving that person to be free to have a relationship with someone else… Not something you want to think of. So we threaten them “You will never find someone who can love you better than me”  or “You will regret this” and as Mariah Carey would say “The one you gave away will be the only one you’re wishing for”! Well maybe and sometimes yes that does turn out to be the case. But more often than not we are devastated to discover that not only have they found someone who loves them better but they are so happy they are willing to commit to their new relationship, get married and live happily ever after!

In the end is it really worth putting ourselves through the trauma of working to fix a relationship that has been barely limping along or even worse in a vegetative state for a long while? Maybe it is but I will have to concur with the old adage – If you love someone, set them free, if they don’t come back it means they were not meant to be yours.

And if they come back sic the dogs on them and watch them run up the road as bits of their derriere are bitten off by Puma! Then get a restraining order. They don’t deserve you.

That’s my story, and Im sticking to it!

Be Free!

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