Living Single

So I find myself on the other side of 30 and still bearing the name my father gave me!  Probably not what I had in mind but that’s all I’m working with, as well as the pitying looks I get from my married friends, relatives and colleagues as I constantly rock up at events alone.  The consolations “don’t worry you will meet someone one day”.  The accusations of being too choosy!  The encouragement to reduce my standards… (huh?).

Really?  I don’t remember ever saying I was looking for a husband.  I mean honestly I’m in my 30’s the prime of my life, I have never been more mature, intelligent, experienced, stable (financially and mentally). This is the life I have always wanted to live and I am actually happy doing it on my own. Maybe one day I will meet someone who will “put a ring on it” but right now seriously I’m ok!

If I had gotten married whilst I was in my 20s I would probably be amongst those married people hassling singles about their status, but for whatever reason (I call it luck!) I didn’t, and I have had the opportunity to live the life I live.  I have learned to be independent pay my way make a home for myself by myself, I rely on me for everything and I love my own company, why wouldn’t I?  I’m the most entertaining person I know!

There are plenty of benefits to being married of course, for example having a big strong man to lift things…. hmmmm I’ve run out of examples.  Ok I kid good husbands provide protect and care for their families. But what about the wife? She has to do everything else including the heavy lifting!  Wives and mothers still have to hold down jobs give birth to babies, feed, clean and care for their families.  They are generally the dogs body of the household (some of course are blessed enough to have help!) Now I hate cleaning up after myself, why oh why would I be in a rush to clean up after a grown ass man and his snotty brats?!

The other day at a bed shop I looked at beds and I tell you I am still looking for someone to show me a Mr and Mrs Bed!  There are King sized beds for Kings clearly and Queen sized beds for me, double beds for normal people,3 quarter sized beds for teenagers and single beds for kids!  Do you know why?  No bed big enough for a Mr and Mrs has been invented yet! Scientists the world over are still trying to create something where 1 person can sleep uninterrupted whilst the other snores, farts, talks in their sleep, hogs the blankets and is unconscious of personal space!!! I being single and an aspiring crazy cat lady only have to share the bed with my cat whose sole purpose is to keep my feet warm.

To make matters worse, once people know that you are in your 30s and still single, they assume you are desperate to find a husband and suddenly any warm blooded male thinks they can try their luck! You walk into a room full of really fine specimens of men and guaranteed!! the fattest ugliest loudest most grotesque of the lot will think you are in his league… dude seriously, there is dating out of your league and then there’s dating out of your species!  This is however the reason us single girls are called picky with standards that are too high, because we won’t accept a date with any Joe Neanderthal that walks in the room? No freaking way! I am maintaining my standards thank you very much and I will hold out till Mr Damn Right comes along. I’ve waited this long why would I want to, now at this late stage in the game, ruin my life by jumping into marriage for the sake of marriage itself?!  I am at a stage where I can make a wise, informed and solid choice and I think I’ll just take my time and do just that.

So maybe I’m selfish and am not yet prepared to share my life with a husband and kids but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them, I just don’t need it right now!  With the advent of modern medicine I can still have babies well into my 40’s.  So for now I am enjoying being fine, young single and independent doing my thing so if you are worried about the bill don’t … I got it!

I’m just saying!


2 thoughts on “Living Single

  1. Cecil Madziwa says:

    Very wise Fadzi, very wise indeed. Unfortunately some of us were starting to feel the heat already when we got married at 27 but nonetheless I had my fair share of being single. I have done evreything a barchelor can do with the so called special ladies, those ones whom u see and think they never answer a call of nature. I had fun for sure, drank, smoked, even weed. But end of the day I had to settle down and luckly I came out of this jungle unscathed meaning am HIV -ve, something which I was afraid to get tested till this Feb and we talking of 7 years into marriage. One may guess why I was afraid to get tested anyway??????

    What did I do when it was time for marriage???? I started to search for a fresh one, fresh from the market and this is what all man do. What I dont know is, who got the used stock!!!

    For you at your age you will be mature enough to follow your heart but when the time finally comes its going to be a tough one to find someone who does not have skeletons intheir cupboards, by this I mean someone without kids! Well they are their but very few. and whomever you will find its either he travelled my road or he is a brother who would have thrown in the towel.

    One thing I liked though about being single is you dictate your own pace and by your age anyone who comes into your life will have to respect that as most of woman at your age are offlayers.

    However I believe for everything happens for a purpose as I witnessed one lady i used to work with getting married to a single guy at the age of 35. I tell you this lady was still a virgin by that time, like you all these crazy suggestions were thrown onto her. Man submitted their CVs for approval but she kept telling me, “Cecil, I am not ready, the husband who is going to marry me should have the same status like mine and we are going to web 1st”. I myself ended up thinking she has a spell casted upon her and yet she proved me wrong. She is now 43 with two sons. Surely God made this possible she wedded and now she is happy. I think the lesson here was just to show that man can live without marriage and most importantly sex. Most people rush into marriage cause of sex, heeee cant stay without! heee cant live on bread and butter alone! Go to hell if you cant. My workmate stayed for 35 damn years and what abt the man who married her?


  2. fadzayi says:

    Hi Cecil, thanks for your comment.
    1. Being married is no protection from HIV
    2. Who you marry should not be a case of looking for someone fresh or hasnt been used but finding someone who is suitable to be your partner.
    3. My boyfriend is in his 30’s and I am proud to say he has NO skeletons in his closet (children) and if he did have them it would not make any difference to me.
    4. That used stock you speak of also gets married to someone who does not judge them by their past as the men themselves are used stock and these days even a 16 year old girl can be “used stock” so age has nothing to do with it.
    5. I also have hundreds of female friends and colleagues who are my age single independent and without kids.
    6. Each person chooses their own path and God will certainly provide what is good for us as he is the giver of all good things.

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