Argh its 2012 and guess what… nothing’s changed! Fat people didn’t miraculously get skinny at the stroke of midnight (I’m very disappointed) Dumb people didn’t grow a brain, Dark skin didn’t get lighter and light skin didn’t get darker! The weaves didn’t go poof in a cloud of smoke and the natural hair is still as frizzy kinky and curly as ever. Relationships are still mind boggling and I’m still blogging!!
My first thought for the new year is the continued struggle between the Natural Divas and the Weave Queens and the Chemical Cuties! Ladies put the afro pick and the flat irons down! Seriously is this ever going to end?! The Queens calling the Divas unkempt and manly looking and the Divas calling the Queens and Cuties fake Barbies who will burn in the chemical hell they are putting on their heads! I sit in a stunned silence not sure which side to take. I am confused because you see I am a fence sitter.
I am a natural girl who loves to change it up and rock a weave when the mood strikes me. My rule of thumb though is my weave should look like it could be my hair and so since there is no way my kinky hair will ever be long, silky and blond from the root to the tip I tend to stay away from the extremeness of it all and stick to shoulder length 100% yak hair (Coz you do know that’s what 100% human hair is right?)! Why not Brazillian or Indian hair you may ask? Well because till they start making Zimbabwean Hair, Yak is the closest to what the real texture of my hair is when relaxed.
I sometimes feel that being Natural haired and part of the “community” is like being in a cult! There are rules and regulations that you need to follow to remain a bonafide member, a secret language of BC’s EVOO, 4C’s and Co-wash that needs to be learnt, not to mention the need to ooh and aah at fellow community member’s length checks and successful twist and braid outs! I don’t remember being a relaxed hair girl being this complicated!
The honest to goodness truth is when I cut my relaxed hair off, it wasn’t because I had seen the light or had an epiphany or embraced some psychedelic funk lifestyle. My hair was damaged and I didn’t have the patience to nurse it back to health so I decided to cut it off and start afresh. Once I started looking more closely at other women with gorgeous natural hair and the many styling options I thought “why bother relaxing I can keep it just the way it is”. I was completely oblivious to the politics of hair until the Natural hair Nazis were staring me in the eye and telling me my ends were dry! In fact it was more political than I ever imagined, the propaganda, the intimidation, the false promises.. Forget the Cult it’s a full blown Dictatorship!
Propaganda – Natural hair is what God gave you (Party Motto), Men prefer Natural hair.
Intimidation – Anything thats not natural is fake and the chemicals are going to eat through your scalp and melt your brain.
False Promises – You will save money, Its easy to care for, You will look beautiful!
Why then do I stick with this crazed Natural Hair Party? Well, because its 2012 and I still have free will and the right to choose. Natural hair is natural hair, it doesn’t get more 100% than what’s growing unaltered right out of my own head. If you take good care of it, it will reward you with a glorious crown, the one God put on your head.