Diamond in the rough or just a pebble?

One topic that is always on women’s lips is the “Mr Right” topic, where to find him, how to get him interested how to keep him.  Mr Right comes in many shapes and sizes and in the same way they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder so too Mr Right is in the eye of the beholder.  Everyone knows this guy, he is tall dark and handsome, drives a flashy car and has money!  Well true that is Mr Right, in the same way a Rolls Royce Phantom is a car…. Lost? Let me break it down to you.

As women we all have the picture of the ideal man we’ll call him Mr TDH aka Tall Dark Handsome.   We have the picture in our heads of how this man will sweep us off our feet and will drive us off into the sunset in his car preferably of the German Luxury persuasion, we picture the luxurious lifestyle we will have and our 2.5 kids who we will send to the best schools in town … you get the picture.  This is what everybody dreams of before they meet Mr TDH without exception!  Who of you can tell me your dream guy was an ugly, gap toothed, short, bandy legged Accounts clerk who takes the bus?

My question today is how realistic is our dream guy (oxymoron I know) and how does our having this dream man affect our ability to find a suitable partner in reality?  Is it not possible that the general Mr TDH is either not suited to you or is perhaps just a little bit out of your league?  How can he be out of your league if he is Mr Right?  Well let’s go back to the Rolls Royce Phantom, it is the ultimate in luxury and opulence, hand built and in a league of its own in other words it is the Mr Right of cars.  But is it for everyone?  I doubt anyone one would say “urgh I hate the Rolls Royce it’s so beautiful”!  But how many people when buying a car would ever go onto the Rolls Royce website to have a look or check the repayment calculator?  I’m not talking to you Mr Trump!  The truth of the matter is, we can dream but at the end of the day you know which dealership stocks your type.

Mr TDH is The Rolls Royce, high maintenance, overpriced and a reality to only a few.  But how is this affecting how we look at potential partners?  Because our expectations are so high, we are missing out on men that could actually be the perfect ones for us.  Just because a car doesn’t have the Head Up Display which projects driving-related information directly on to the windscreen in front of you like the Phantom, doesn’t mean it will not provide you with a comfortable safe drive! It all boils down to high expectations based on purely superficial aspects… nice to have but you can live without it.

Cut and Polished Diamond

Does being a little chubby or short make a man any less capable of being a loving and caring provider for his family?  Or does the fact that he is not at present the CEO of a fortune 500 company mean he is doomed to be an accounts clerk for life?  So he wears a checked shirt with a striped tie and black shoes with white socks “eek”!  If this man has the qualities that make a good partner/husband/father should we not see him as a diamond in the rough?  Honest, loving, supportive, kind and hardworking should be the qualities that make up the cornerstone of what we look for in a man and not his height or his ripped abs and bulging biceps *drool* or his money “kaching”.  I often say to my girlfriends, the polished well-dressed men you see on the street are like that because someone polished them!  Somebody picked up that pebble and took the time to lovingly polish and shape it until it became the stunning diamond we see today is this not why people talk about the “woman’s touch”.  So with love and a little patience most men have the potential to become a shining diamond, note I said “most” some are just pebbles end of story.

At the end of the day, we should not let our judgement be clouded by what society says is the ideal man when we know full well only 10% of the world’s male population fits that mould.  Stop side stepping men because they are not “your type”, how do you know he is not your type if you never take the time to get to know him.  Have a look around you at your friends and family and see how many of them are happy in relationships with Mr TDH, you will be surprised to find that many are very happy with men you would have never pictured them hooking up with.

If you decide to hold out for that Knight in Shining Armour just remember the last Knight was seen in a fairy-tale somewhere living happily ever after with Sleeping Beauty…

Get polishing!